 Originally published on LinkedIn May 2021
Intergenerational families separated by geography constantly navigate the best ways to communicate. What’s more, not all communication is equal or effective. Let’s consider the different types of communication: Light and Fluffy Occasional texts, random photos or videos, and social media posts. Fun, but fleeting. Day-to-Day Stuff Updates on the day, administrative emails, and questions needing answers—practical but rarely nourishing. Mediocre Encounters A video call cut short by a crying child, a doorbell interruption, or a phone call. Normal interruptions that often end with, “We’ll try again another time.” Rich Encounters Pre-booked—or sometimes spontaneous—group or one-on-one calls when everyone is ready, time zones align, and conversation flows naturally. These calls leave everyone feeling refreshed, reconnected, and ready to thrive… until the next time. Seven Strategies for Rich Encounters 1️⃣ You Can’t Ring a Two-Year-Old Distance grandparents often leave initiating to the middle generation, especially with young children. It’s about timing, not willingness. Middle-generation children should take the lead in arranging communication. 2️⃣ Soft Routines vs. Random Potluck Soft routines: Scheduled times for regular catch-ups. Random potluck connections: Calls made hoping the other person is free. Ask your distance family what works best—both have value. 3️⃣ Quality vs. Quantity Do you prefer a multitasking setup with the laptop on the counter, or distraction-free attention to a call? Ask your family whether they value quality or quantity in communication. 4️⃣ Pretence: “We’re Fine” Families sometimes hide how they really are. A deliberate “How are you?”—with a pause to listen—can encourage honesty and vulnerability. Patience is key; it may take a few tries. 5️⃣ Group vs. One-on-One Group calls offer laughter and fun, but one-on-one calls create deeper connections. Encourage monthly one-on-one calls between grandchildren and grandparents—they will be cherished. Ask your family what they prefer. 6️⃣ Being on Stage Many people dislike video calls but won’t admit it. Some hover in the background, avoiding the couch. Diversify communication: send texts or letters “just because” to maintain connection without pressure. 7️⃣ The Value of the Written Word Letters and cards are treasured, opened, and savoured at the right moment. Young children may find them magical. Even with postage costs, a thoughtful card or letter is always worth it. Rich encounters don’t happen by accident. They require intentionality, thoughtfulness, and creativity. By following these strategies, distance families can transform ordinary interactions into meaningful connections across any miles. |
