Where and how to live: juggling priorities as a Distance Parent/Grandparent... and pesky leaves

First published on LinkedIn, February 2024

A while back, life dished out a medical diagnosis I wasn’t expecting. “You have significant osteoarthritis and expect a couple of hip replacements”. My immediate reaction was one of disbelief. No one in my family has had a hip replacement and I am far too young. Like all these life events, in time, you accept the good with the bad. Other people receive much worse diagnoses. At least it explains all my aches and pains - why gardening has been so troublesome and as for cleaning the shower base, “Oh dear me”.

All this gets you thinking.

Is it time to reassess how I (and we) live and where I (and we) live? For the past ten years, our current home has been perfect. I have immersed myself in gardening and loved every minute. I have reached the dizzy heights of having a ‘show’ garden and being the organiser of a local Garden Ramble. Yes, I will get those hips sorted, but I have also concluded that this season of my life is no more and I am okay with that. I should probably replace mornings spent crouching and squeezing into garden nooks and crannies with a pleasant walk or a gentle swim at the pool.

Thus, entered new thoughts into my (our) life of other ways of living. No stairs would seem the logical way to go, and that led to considering an apartment. Long story short, that is what we’ve signed up to and we’re watching it being built.

In the meantime, we have a house to sell. The past few weeks have been an adventure. Long gone are the days of giving the house a quick vacuum and hammering a For Sale sign outside. Folk would say our house is perfect as it is, but the experts don’t agree. There’s the decluttering, depersonalizing, renting a storage unit, fixing the numerous previously hidden holes in the walls trying to get frames to align, and dealing with marks and scuffs. Every imperfection needs to be addressed. Your DIY skills, energy, time and budget determine what you can do yourself and how much you need to pay someone else to do. Then there are the basics of a deep clean, including the shower base. And don’t forget the house dressing with a zillion oversized cushions, a photographer, a videographer, and a drone camera operator. We’re days away from our first Open Home and I can stand back now and rightly feel proud but I know I wouldn’t want to do it again in a hurry.

So, what’s all this got to do with Distance Families?

As we’ve reconsidered how and where we live, we have simultaneously reconsidered how we use our ‘spare’ bedrooms in our new abode. The best quality, space-saving sofa bed costs thousands and even then looks pretty uncomfortable. Outcome: there will be no permanent guest beds in our new apartment. We will experiment and rent beds, as and when family visit. Why pay for real estate that sits idle with an imaginary Vacant sign for 49 weeks of the year? In the meantime, every square foot will be used to its max… as it suits us. Stay tuned for the outcome when the family visits down the track.
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P.S. So what about the photo? How dear these early autumn leaves litter my freshly mulched on-show garden!