The Distance Family Thinking Pie

The Distance Family Thinking Pie is a symbolic reminder that each generation thinks about each other according to their own set of scales and this is okay. The slices of the Distance Family Thinking Pie vary between generations. Think of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Distance Grandparents consume the biggest slice. They think about their distance children most, followed closely by thoughts of their distance grandchildren. They worry, they grieve, they feel the void: their distance family is constantly on their minds. When they wake up each morning one of their first thoughts will be, are there any messages overnight from the kids?

Distance sons and daughters think about their distance parents often, but not as frequently as their parents think about them in reverse. Theirs is a middle-size slice. Keeping with the same example, first thing in the morning, distance sons and daughters have a full to-do list. They don’t necessarily have time to ponder about their parents as they are rushing to get on with the day. There is only so much space, or ‘bandwidth’, as they would describe it.
The only time the size of the slice of The Distance Family Thinking Pie increases for the sons and daughters is when perhaps a parent is unwell and uncertainty about their future is a lingering concern. It is then the slice sizes of The Distance Family Thinking Pie are adjusted.

Distance grandchildren consume the smallest slice of The Distance Family Thinking Pie. Most distance grandchildren don’t constantly think about their distance grandparents, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care. Their brain space focuses, most of the time, on other things and that’s perfectly normal. Once again there are exceptions to the rule.
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The purpose of talking about The Distance Family Thinking Pie is not to critique each generation’s efforts. It is there for one purpose only: to highlight the reality that the quantity of distance family thinking varies between generations. This provides a context for realistic expectations of each other.