June Newsletter

​Welcome to the newsletter from Distance Families

DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS

Under the radar
There’s an aspect of global mobility life that often flies under the radar in much the same way that intergenerational distance families do: Split Families.

So, what are split families? These are expatriate families where one parent works away from “home” for extended periods of time, while the other parent remains the primary hands-on caregiver. Yet “home” is not necessarily where their extended family live. Instead, it is often a country chosen because it is safer or more conducive to family life. In many cases, these families are living a traditional expatriate lifestyle in a foreign country, without the support of nearby relatives.

A leading expert on this topic is my friend and global mobility colleague, Rhoda Bangerter. Several years ago, her husband was based in Kabul, Afghanistan; today, his work is in the Middle East. During these assignments, Rhoda lives in Switzerland with their two sons, and her husband returns home periodically. She has not only lived this reality — and continues to do so — but has also researched the subject extensively and written a book about it.

A couple of Christmases ago, when we both happened to be holidaying in Wiltshire, U.K., we met for coffee. What a joy that was.
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So which families find themselves in this situation? Often they are connected to the foreign service, military, humanitarian organisations, or multinational corporations. As Rhoda says:

​I truly believe that split-location families can build a strong unit and be happy families with happy individuals, even when living apart. I have witnessed families who are living this reality

​Rhoda offers excellent resources on her website. If this describes your family — or someone you know — I highly recommend exploring the support and guidance she provides. In addition, she interviewed me on a podcast when I talked about the role of the folks back home for split families.

Split-family assignments can place enormous pressure on couples, marriages, and children. Yet with strong communication, shared commitment, and a united approach, these families can not only function, but thrive.

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BOOK SERIES NEWS

Amazon is a huge player in the global book-selling business. My books are, of course, available there. It’s probably hard for many readers to imagine, but for some of us, Amazon isn’t exactly “down the road” or an easy shopping option. Here in New Zealand, for example, ordering from Amazon can be a slow and costly exercise. What's more, if you never shop on Amazon you can't share a book review.  Here's how it is for other countries.

• Norway — wealthy and digitally advanced, yet without a full Amazon marketplace. Many consumers rely on Amazon Germany or the U.K.
• Denmark — similarly dependent on neighboring Amazon sites and cross-border shipping.
• Finland — Amazon access is more limited than in nearby Sweden or Germany.
• Ireland — despite strong Amazon usage, post-Brexit shipping and customs have complicated ordering from the U.K.
• Iceland — geographic isolation and a small population create very high shipping costs.
• Malta and Cyprus — island nations with expensive freight and slower delivery times.
• Chile — relatively affluent by Latin American standards, but still without a local Amazon marketplace.
• Argentina — import regulations, taxes, and logistics often make Amazon purchases difficult and expensive.
• Czech Republic and Hungary — many shoppers rely on Amazon Germany due to the lack of a mature local platform.

As an author, these realities meant I needed to print books separately in New Zealand for the local market. So where can New Zealand readers order paperback copies of the Distance Families Book Series? The easiest option is through my distributor, Nationwide Books, which holds stock for fast delivery. Another wonderful resource is BookHub, a website that shows available stock at independent bookstores around New Zealand. Independent booksellers would greatly appreciate your support — and you may discover a lovely local bookstore in the process or support one in a struggling town.

I envy the convenience many countries enjoy when ordering books online. Every time I travel to visit family in the U.K. or the U.S., I carry a rather weighty Amazon book shopping list with me!

Random Fact: Beware: there are two authors in the world called Helen Ellis. Yes, confusion does occasionally happen! I am the non-fiction one; she is the fiction one.

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ON THE HOME FRONT

The FIFA World Cup is just around the corner. Who will you be supporting? If you are an expat or migrant, is it your country of birth, or perhaps the country you now call home? Or maybe your “home” nation didn’t qualify this time around. For New Zealanders, it’s an especially exciting year — we’re going to be there for the first time since 2010.

My son, who lives in Chicago, has always been passionate about football (or soccer, as we call it Down Under). Back in 2006, as a university student, he travelled to Germany for the World Cup when they hosted the tournament. Sixteen years later, he is once again making the journey — this time leaving his wife and two-year-old at home while he meets up with global friends in Vancouver for the New Zealand versus Egypt game.

He has even had a special supporter shirt printed. Inspired by one of my grandson’s favourite New Zealand ​counting books, Pukeko Counts to 10, the shirt reads: “Pukeko Count 10”. I do wonder how many fellow supporters will understand the reference!

What makes the World Cup even more special for me is that New Zealand's All White's coach happens to live in our apartment building — and parks his car next to mine. He is a wonderful neighbour and genuinely one of life’s nice people. I don’t know a great deal about football, but our conversations are always interesting, and it feels rather surreal seeing him on television so often these days. He has a toddler grandson who I see come and go, and certainly laughed when I showed him my son’s shirt photo.

​Take care until next time
Helen Ellis
 
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