September Newsletter

Welcome to the newsletter from Distance Families

DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS

Do you live in the USA, or have family there?

​If so, you’ve probably seen in the news that, due to recent tariff changes, many countries have temporarily suspended parcel deliveries to America until the situation becomes clearer. At present, you can still send a letter or greeting card, but not a parcel.
 
One of my U.S. grandsons has a birthday in September. His gift is wrapped and ready, sitting on my desk—but the Post Office won’t accept it. As it languishes on the wrong side of the Pacific Ocean, I’m reminded of one of the key findings from my master’s thesis and my book Being a Distance Grandparent: “Change is a constant companion.”
I wrote:

​Distance Grandparenting regularly evolves, flip-flops and transitions as life and whatever the world throws at it causes constant change. Nothing stays the same for long and at times our worlds can feel like an emotional yo-yo – much of it beyond our control

​So what’s next for my predicament? I’ve posted his birthday card in plenty of time. And, before wrapping the gift, I filmed a little video of his present for him. I hope I won’t need to send it on the day—but I suspect I will.
 
And then there’s Christmas. Let’s hope this is all sorted out by then.

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BOOK SERIES NEWS

Publishing a book is a bit like boarding a non-stop express train—you can’t hop off, and you need a solid plan to reach your destination. With many people and moving parts involved, it’s definitely a journey of coordination.
​
Here’s where Being a Distance Grandchild is on its publishing journey:

• August – Draft reviewed by Beta Readers ✅
• September – Formal reviewers and the Foreword’s author read the draft and prepare their contributions (in progress)
• October – Professional editor completes the final edit and a full proofread (booked)
• November – Professional designer formats both the paperback and eBook editions (booked)
• December – New Zealand paperbacks printed (since Amazon isn’t just down the road—and the printer is taking January off!)
• January – A short holiday for me, plus loading the books online
• February – Promotional activity begins
• March – Publication, launch party and champagne 🍾

​It’s exciting to see the milestones being achieved—thanks for coming along for the ride!

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ON THE HOME FRONT

Another topic I explored in Being a Distance Grandparent was “Are there benefits to Distance Grandparenting?”
I wrote:

“Since a fair proportion of my discourse has focused on the less encouraging aspects of how Distance Grandparenting is, it seems only honest and appropriate to say, from my own perspective and others, there are plenty of positives, especially if one takes the attitude that one door opens and another closes.

I go on to mention that there are no babysitting expectations (every Saturday night is free!), you can keep a constantly tidy house if that’s your preference, drive a car without car seats, and so on. It’s not all bad.

One unexpected advantage my husband and I have enjoyed is the freedom to embrace apartment living. We were quite content in our four-bedroom standalone home with a garden and plenty of room for visitors. But as time went on, our bodies didn’t cooperate as well and the garden became more of a chore than a joy. If we’d had grandchildren constantly on our doorstep, we’d never have considered moving—but that’s not our situation. Because of that, we had the freedom to choose differently.

Even so, when we signed the contract and put our house on the market, we had our doubts. Now, 12 months into our new apartment, we have no regrets. We love the lifestyle, enjoy the company of our neighbours, feel extra secure and appreciate the “lock up and leave” flexibility. We are blessed with amazing views. The early morning fog can be something else here and the other day the brightest rainbow appeared.

​Meanwhile, of course, we still miss our family deeply, and when gorgeous grandchildren videos appear online they tug at our heartstrings. That doesn't change. But we also know we need to make the most of our revised life package—because it’s best for us all.

​Take care until next time
Helen Ellis
 
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