January Newsletter

Welcome to the monthly newsletter from Distance Families

DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS

​Christmas/New Year 2022/3 has created a ‘line in the sand’ for so many Distance Families. We were separated during the 2020/221 pandemic and finally, most families have been able to reunite, in at least one direction – mine included.

During many airport visits it was hard to miss the ‘COVID babies’ snuggly enclosed in parental front packs, meeting their grandparents for the first time. Many a Love Actually scene unfolded nearby, making my eyes water.
 
Pent up emotions spilled over like the opening of a shaken beer can. Expectations of what the visits meant to all parties were high.

What have we learned?

• Western globalisation and its ease of mobility has lost a little of its sparkle.

• The pain of forced separation was harder than we imagined. Perhaps for some, they’ve realised their family means more to them than they’d previously considered.
• Going forward, non-changeable, non-refundable airfares offer little appeal.

• Having future travel plans in place, knowing when we’ll next physically connect was always important. Now these plans are vital, but remain clouded by a cautious, “what if?” question mark.

 
As we pick up our lives navigating a new version of normal the previous rhythm of catch up visits will resume, albeit with rejigged attitudes and priorities. We will never again, take for granted, the ability to fly around the world and physically connect with families. It’s a luxury to be forever grateful for.

Photo credit: "A line in the sand" by Sushicam is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

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BOOK SERIES NEWS

The Distance Families Book Series is a perfect addition for public libraries… anywhere in the world.
 
I would love your support by spreading this message. Check out the Libraries page on my website. You are able to download an information sheet to pass to your favourite librarian.

​Please share success stories with me – especially with a photo. Thanks for your support here.

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ON THE HOME FRONT

​And how do we feel? It was totally awesome to have all the family here and to finally enjoy the magic moments of hosting overseas grandkids in New Zealand. I even got to win the Super Grandmother competition at a holiday campsite.

​The visit was settling for our daughter who has no choice but to live in the U.S. and has worked very hard at making the States home. We're proud of the job she has done and we're each accepting of our different situations.
 
We're also happy to admit we're ready for a rest, get our house back to normal, and enjoy our regular quiet existence, until next time.
 
I'll finish with our daughter's final FB post...

​This month’s newsletter is a little late because I have been wearing my Distance Parent and Distance Grandparent hat. My U.S. son & daughter-in-law visited for 12 days and two days ago we put our daughter and two incredibly energetic, 'Ever-ready Battery' grandsons on the plane back to the U.S.
 
Three and a half weeks of rambunctious, noisy chaos, Lego everywhere, beautiful sunshine mixed in with a week of stuck-indoors, cyclone weather. Every day has been totally consumed with meal production, child-minding, laundry, entertainment, and Netflix when we're all a bit desperate.
 
A pile of linen is processing through the laundry, Christmas decorations are yet to be dismantled and there's a line of toys & kiddie furniture waiting at the bottom of the stairs to be carried up & stored in the loft.
 
In time we'll get to the sand-filled cars & car seats, borrowed bits n pieces and a house that is overdue for a deep clean from tip to toe.

That’s a wrap. My most important priority on this trip was for the boys to ‘fall in love with New Zealand’ (which included consuming something in the range of 60+ fruit mince pies per kid…).
 
I was explaining to friends the other day how I hoped to give the boys ‘a sense of their New Zealand identity’. Peter then piped up from the next room, “I think you gave us too much sense!” “How so?” I enquired, curious about his usage of the word ‘sense’. “Well, now we don’t wanna go home!” Just as well this is also your home, little lads of mine.

While there have been plenty of hiccups large and small, untold screen time, the disintegration of many habits and routines, plenty of banshee mummy moments and more rain than I would have liked, New Zealand has come alive for my boys - the place, the people, the tastes, sounds, smells, the culture(s). Can’t wait to bring these little Kimericans (as they’ve labeled themselves) back to Aotearoa.

And with that, wanna roll the credits on this epic adventure…
…Creative Director, Producer, and all-things-as-needed…Helen Ellis
…Fruit Cake and Ice Cream Overlord and Sommelier…Clive Ellis

Thank you for bearing with the utter chaos and even greater charm that are your two Kimerican grandsons with more energy than 10 Energizer bunnies. Enjoy the endless peace and quiet.
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And if you’re looking for your sanity, it’s probably buried in the loose legos or in that teapot they kept playing with. No, I think it’s under the boogie boards. Good luck finding it in any case

​Take care until next time
Helen Ellis
 
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