Welcome to the monthly newsletter from Distance Families DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
As we pick up our lives navigating a new version of normal the previous rhythm of catch up visits will resume, albeit with rejigged attitudes and priorities. We will never again, take for granted, the ability to fly around the world and physically connect with families. It’s a luxury to be forever grateful for. Photo credit: "A line in the sand" by Sushicam is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. BOOK SERIES NEWS
ON THE HOME FRONT
That’s a wrap. My most important priority on this trip was for the boys to ‘fall in love with New Zealand’ (which included consuming something in the range of 60+ fruit mince pies per kid…). Take care until next time
Helen Ellis P.S. Not registered to receive this monthly newsletter? You may register on the right of this page. Thanks for your support. HE
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Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWSNovember is the start of what American’s call the ‘holiday season'. We all experience different rhythms of life at this time. Normally my email account is a consistently happening place, but I couldn’t believe it when I woke on the Sunday morning of Thanksgiving weekend to no emails. I thought there was something wrong until I remembered, it was Thanksgiving weekend in the States and ‘Black Friday’ weekend everywhere. America was vacationing and the world was distracted. Here in the Southern Hemisphere we’re right in the middle of what we call the ‘silly season’. Final school and university exams have just finished and schools are in the process of breaking up for the academic year. It’s the time for dancing school recitals and final performance and prizegiving concerts for all manner of activities. Workplaces are holding Christmas parties and it seems that everyone wants to gather before we disperse. There are some days we could be in three places at once. This all culminates with Christmas Day. Boxing Day, the 26th is ‘the great exodus’. Southern Hemisphere-ites, taking advantage of the Christmas/New Year public holidays, pile in our cars for our summer holiday. Wonder what it's like to experience Christmas in the summer. Click here for a wee kiwi musical interlude. In January everyone returns home in dribs and drabs ready for the new work and school years to begin all over again. In contrast, every July and August we’re used to finding our Northern Hemisphere family, friends and colleagues are on a ‘go slow’ as they similarly schedule vacations and restful interludes. Well that’s how it will be over the next month or so for those of us 'down under'. If you don’t receive a prompt email response from a Kiwi, Aussie, South African or South American – you’ll know why! BOOK SERIES NEWS
ON THE HOME FRONT
At a less administrative level! this is the first Christmas visit we'll have international Santa focussed grandchildren. We’ll savour every moment before this phase passes, and pull out all the stops for a vacation overflowing with memories and good times… while still keeping expectations at a realistic level ! Take care and Seasons Greetings until next time
Helen Ellis P.S. Not registered to receive this monthly newsletter? You may register on the right of this page. Thanks for your support. HE Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWSOctober was full of terrific expat/migrant online events. I spoke at the #MentalandWellbeing online conference attended by expats from around the world. One attendee messaged me... Hello Helen, this was a really great and interesting talk and I think you hit the nail on the head saying that the biggest feeling the middle generation feels is guilt. That really hit home. I love your mission and think it's so, so important. Thanks for this!!
BOOK SERIES NEWS
"South Africa, where emigration is prolific, warrants special attention from the perspective of the left-behind Distance Parents and Distance Grandparents and their resulting kinlessness and uncertainty. The number of Distance Grandparents is high and it’s common for all of their children to have left the country. The impact of emigration and kinlessness has become a significant social problem. If you know ‘left-behind’ South African distance family or South African migrants/expats who have departed their homeland please let them know my books are available to support them.
If you'd like to send a personalised/autographed, gift wrapped copy to a relative in New Zealand please touch base with me and I will make it happen. I can work with PayPal and NZ Bank deposit - NZD38. Free postage. ON THE HOME FRONT
In the meantime Google Drive has been busy hosting a shared spreadsheet to plan the Christmas visit of my U.S. son, daughter-in-law, daughter and grandsons – all the family we vacationed with last May/June. We’re all planners (thank goodness) and all feed into it. Time is so limited. We don’t, for example, want to waste time figuring out who needs a car each day when we could easily work that out ahead of time. There are plenty of decisions that can be made earlier than later leaving more time for relaxed family fun. Take care until next time Helen Ellis P.S. Not registered to receive this monthly newsletter? You may register on the right of this page. Thanks for your support. HE
Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
Every so often I spy mobility research on a subject that hasn’t appeared on my radar before. Globally mobile gifted children and adults aren’t talked about that much, however, they are such an asset to the world. I was impressed to see scholar Karina Lagarrigue’s research to “better understand how Giftedness together with Sensory Processing Sensitivity” for globally mobile children and adults. If that’s you, please support her research here. Here’s a terrific initiative by expats, for expats. The Language & Mental Wellbeing online conference will be held 10-13 October 2022. I will be speaking on Day 2. The content is impressive. In 2021 the FIGT Australia and New Zealand Affiliate hosted a successful Author Panel. We’re doing it again on Thursday 27 October and I will be facilitating. You are welcome. Please click here to learn more and register. BOOK SERIES NEWS
ON THE HOME FRONT
Take care until next time Helen Ellis P.S. Not registered to receive this monthly newsletter? You may register on the right of this page. Thanks for your support. HE
Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com. DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
Natasha Winnard, an International Education and Youth Empowerment Consultant always shares terrific wisdom about schooling our youth overseas. Here’s a link to her helpful blog.
BOOK SERIES NEWSThe Distance Family book series continues to generate much interest at home and abroad. The New Zealand Women’s Weekly kindly published an edited extract from Being a Distance Son or Daughter featuring hints and tips to improve communication and connections. Paperbacks of both books can be ordered from bookshops in New Zealand only. I am also arranging for stocks to be held by quality, Kiwiana sourvenir stores. In Auckland you’ll find them on the shelves of Parnell’s gorgeous The Fantail House. Over the Harbour Bridge, The Next Door Gallery in Birkenhead is a wonderful find. New Zealanders… please let me know your favourite Kiwiana store.
ON THE HOME FRONTIt’s been a bit of a crazy month here. Way back in March we had a small flood in our laundry, damaging some hall floorboards. The insurance company decided the whole of our ground floor (60m2) should be replaced – that represents a large lounge, dining area, kitchen and long hall. Needless to say the new floor looks very swish but there’s been some chaos. Outside the rain has finally taken a breather. Spring is in the air and it’s time for a clean-up. When we moved into our current house nearly nine years ago we brought our fully functioning water blaster. Since moving in it has never worked efficiently and consequently gathered dust. I have always blamed the problem on our eco grey water tank/pump system. This week I discovered all that was wrong was that the nozzle needed a wiggle! What an exciting revelation. I am now the water blaster queen attacking a new patch of concrete each day and changing our outside from grey to off-white. I love my water blaster!
Take care until next time Helen Ellis P.S. Not currently receiving this newsletter? You may register on the right of this page. Thanks for your support. HE
Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
If you’re visiting family brace yourself, pack all your medications and digital charging gear in your carry-on as there is no guarantee your luggage will travel with you. Furthermore, travellers need to be super confident with a mobile phone that works anywhere. I read you’ll likely learn about a flight disruption via the airline's app, before the attendant in the departure lounge is fully informed. Closer to home, Auckland Airport has just staged a Job Fair due to the dire staffing situation – an unprecedented initiative. The best news is that New Zealand is finally totally open to the world. All restrictions have been removed. It has been a long time coming and so important for Distance Families (and our economy!). BOOK SERIES NEWSThe subtitle of my books is consistently, A Book for ALL Generations because I encourage all generations to read all books. Behind this mission is my mantra... "With knowledge comes understanding... with understanding comes empathy... and empathy is a good thing for Distance Families" On one hand I admit this is a ‘big ask’, but on the other hand great things are rarely achieved in our comfort zone. As my books are being read I am reveling in the 'ah ha' stories coming from here and there. For example, the other day, when discussing my new Son/Daughter book with a distance grandparent couple I shared that the toughest emotion our away middle generation experience is the guilt of their left-behind family. The couple’s response indicated they weren't truly aware of this. The husband asked, “how can we lessen that guilt?”. Music to my ears! It is this feedback that fuels me as I want to make a difference for intergenerational Distance Families. And what was my answer? Make sure your adult child and partner know you are accepting and supportive of their move and you’re proud of them. That will be music to their ears. In reverse, here’s feedback from a couple of Distance Daughters who’ve recently read the Grandparent book. The book helped me understand how my parents may feel and how I, expat, may be able to support them. A helpful and special book that will resonate with many. Helen shares that she wants all generations to read her books, and I completely agree. As the distance daughter, I have learned so much. I have gleaned tips for how I will do things a little differently going forward. But most importantly I now have a deeper understanding of the experience my parents and in laws have had, I can now empathise with them and share the load a little. If you've had a similar experience I would love to hear about it. You can email me or add a review here. ON THE HOME FRONTAfter our exciting travels last month, July has been decidedly low key as we recovered from COVID which involved mandated isolation. It’s rather felt like another lockdown. The only saving grace is that it is winter here with relentless rain and other friends and family suffered the same fate.
Take care until next time Helen Ellis P.S. Like to automatically receive this monthly newsletter? Just register on the right of this page. Thanks
Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
On the flip side there is debate from either side as to whether fewer people are considering a move overseas and/or returning for good – thanks to the pandemic. This article created debate with arguments for and against.
BOOK SERIES NEWS
With a book launch comes a bunch of interviews. If you’re an expat or migrant you’re most welcome to plug in here on Thursday 28 July (10am Paris, 4pm Singapore, 6pm Sydney & 8pm Auckland). I will be answering questions and we’ll have a few laughs about Being a Distance Son or Daughter. Click here to buy your copy. Thank you for your support. ON THE HOME FRONTThe rest of June had us continuing our U.S. family visit and off to Florida for two weeks at Club Med with all the family. Two excited grandsons didn’t quite know how to greet their kiwi grandparents. It had been three and a half years and that’s a lifetime when you’re a wee lad. But it didn’t take long before they were ‘in the groove’ as we read the books we’d brought from New Zealand, built sandcastles (while Nanma was on alligator watch), swam in the pool, ate at the extensive buffet and shuffled between Mama’s room and ours. Our normally tidy accommodation was regularly littered with wet swimming gear, snorkels, flippers, assorted clothing in various states of cleanliness and don’t forget the sand that graced our bed. Each night we’d hope the toothbrushes were in the right place. We confess to allowing Netflix to make itself at home and when the boys were at the Kids Club we took off for a golf lessons. When you haven’t been around small children for years it’s okay to give yourself a break and not attempt to be super-grandies. Loads of memories were had and I came home with the best tan for years. To make allowance for a PCR test the NZ government originally decreed we would have to take we’d booked a two night stopover in Los Angeles. LAX’s parting gift to us was COVID which made its presence felt in a jetlagged infused haze a few days after our return. Yes, it was annoying, but on the other hand the timing, if it had to happen, was impeccable. Our vacation wasn't ruined and we’d allowed for some down time upon arrival anyway. We’re coming out the other end now and have much to be grateful for. Our goal was to draw a line in the sand with COVID and family separation and we well and truly achieved that. Take care until next time
Helen Ellis June NewsletterWelcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
I have had a couple of cameos this month. The May theme for FIGT was guilt: guilt of the left behind family and all the other types of guilt that land on the shoulders of Distance Families. Here I read an extract from my latest book, Being a Distance Son or Daughter. Later in the month I had my first ‘live on YouTube’ experience with a webinar hosted by multi-lingual expert Ute Limacher-Riebold PhD of Ute’s International Lounge. She asked some great questions, and I was brutally honest. There are plenty of other articles and interviews on the Distance Families website. BOOK SERIES NEWS
Ana McGinley is the author of Parental Guidance: Long Distance Care for Aging Parents, the only complementary title in the marketplace. This is what she had to say about Being a Distance Son or Daughter. “I have been a global citizen for much longer than was a stationary citizen. Not fully belonging anywhere is a feeling I am comfortable with, and even crave if I stay too long in any one place. My husband and children understand this feeling, even if they experience it somewhat differently. My family and oldest friends love telling stories about my newest location but really know very little about my experiences. It has always been this way. Until I read Helen´s book, I was unaware that the way I felt and bumbled through my oldest relationships was common to serial expats. This book provided insight into how others have found solutions to navigate distant relationships in a way that can be mutually satisfying. As my own adult children start to scatter around the globe, I have the advantage of being able to experience their joy secondhand, combined with new knowledge on managing our future distant relationships. What an excellent life resource!” Order your copy now and be one of the first to read Being a Distance Son or Daughter - a Book for ALL Generations ON THE HOME FRONT
I had the privilege of reading an advance copy of Helen's latest book "Being a Distance Son or Daughter" and I highly recommend it. Helen's research, resources, and vulnerable insight have me both patting myself on the back for the things I've done well AND considering ways that I can improve how I distance family. It's truly a book for 'ALL' generations. Take care until next time
Helen Ellis Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
CNN is anticipating travel chaos during the 2022 Northern Hemisphere summer. Depending on where you're travelling to/from determines what COVID test/s (if any) you need to do pre-departure in either direction. The day or two before flying is busy enough without needing to fit in a COVID test - but that's the new normal. Furthermore, once you're on foreign territory you then need to figure out where you'll get your test done prior to departing and factor in the time allowing for something to go wrong. All of this isn't for the faint hearted. We're heading to the States and need to do tests at both ends. We have a plan. If you're travelling I recommend you really think this all through, well in advance. I agree that it's all a real pain but I'd also call it a 'nice problem', because at least we can connect with family now. BOOK SERIES NEWS
ON THE HOME FRONT
Welcome to the monthly newsletter from DistanceFamilies.com DISTANCE FAMILIES NEWS
BOOK SERIES NEWS
ON THE HOME FRONT
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